lwc (the church building i attend) has been thinking about expansion for years now. muddling with the idea and practicalities... i am big on jesus christ followers being the church body, period. i am big on meeting wherever and however, to simply justify meeting together and loving on each other, along with foundational teaching and worshiping with persons who are hungry for truth. i have never been prone to get excited about the dimensions of the fellowship hall-- so potluck isn't too crowded, or a space specifically set aside for the children's left hand sissors so they aren't hard to find when a lefty attends sunday school... the church i attend isn't big on extravagent buildings either, nor a speacil spot for left-handed sissors, however; questions arise when the church people meet together to discuss a church building. questions. some about dreams that have yet to come about, others about necessary nitty-gritty stuff that not many in this church body seem to care about getting their (our) hands dirty with.
there is a large highway being built from the cities. it comes through stillwater, mn (amazing place! a visit is HIGHLY recomended) and then out in our direction. stillwater is probably about 35 min. from the church. complexes and apartments are in various developental stages. it was put clearly on sunday when my pastor said, "the world has begun to prepare. what are we going to do?"
honestly, i was very much agianst the project for many months now. i sat on my chair and thought "nice plan, but im not going to be a part of it". i declared overtly to persons who would listen, "im not sure. god hasn't said anything to me concerning this..." than i would rattle off logical reasons-- countering my supposed stance in either direction. while i looked at graphs and points of discussion on an overhead this past sunday afternoon, my heart was hard. it was both bitter and brittle. past church stuff ran through my mind... my heart. i choose to dwell upon those feelings and what i could presently see both within the church (these church people and the church as a whole- all jesus lovers)and outside-- people who just don't know. i choose to dwell instead of hearing whispers about possibilties.*****
transformation within the past few days. it is a crazy thing when you choose jesus' ideas over your own. yeah. im pretty darn selfish.******
im not sure what will happen for this particular "building"--- i don't think that is ecesstially what matters at this point-- this day-- this hour.*****
randy dean, our pastor, at lwc called us to 120 days of faith... in my opinion, that is harder than anything right now. it has only been 2 days. no begging. none of that logical stuff. simply waiting. waiting as a preperation. waiting as an inhaled breath for the surprise that will be. waiting so it might be about him and what he wants not just a building with people drawing straws for the shade of the restrooms interior.*****
the past is behind. this includes my former hurts and ideologies that in many insidents came from a religious setting.*****
church. i am kind of.wait. i am really excited.*****
read acts. read the letters to the churches-- they're in the back of the bible. read paul's notes. they are still relevant. (that is a promise) if you don't have a bible. you can almost always find them at goodwill. if you don't have access. let me know. i will get you one. for real.*****
proceeding with reckless abandonment... faith. hmmm. and than i look around. oh gosh. well, so i follow another's lead and choose to offer my unbelief. god has already proved that he changes hearts and lives and attitudes and realities and.....
(enjoy THIS day)
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