hard-to-fold fabric

today i noticed that i couldn't "do" this life on my own. i am a christian. i profess to be a lover of jesus. even so, i know how to keep my mouth tightly shut when opposition may be present, and i understand that i have mastered the art of 'subtle complaining.' so... background: i have been working basically 12 and 14 hour days for the last couple weeks (to get some loans paid-off quickly and to get myself back to the point where $ doesn't matter___ while i owe persons it does matter. i work at a discount store and a nursing home.)
eailer this afternoon i found myself staring at this patterned peice of material. the colors and shapes enabled my eyes to begin to stare quite easily. i would measure somewhat approriatly and continue to crease the fabric where it best seemed fit. several yards into this folding process, god began to speak truth into my life. i could proceed to measure and 'perfect' my life in the way that seemed fit or i could remember that he is god and i could surrended my dirty hands agian. i could very well 'lean on my understanding,' or i could obey his holy prompting (that more often times than not don't fall into my defination of what "holy" should look like) and learn more than 'a comfortable number of times' what it looks like and feels like and tastes like to trust his understanding. (proverb 3)
who's folding your fabric?

the project

to pick it up.
to not set it down agian.
to invade lives.
to speak his words.
to wonder about the next paragraph.
to weep bitterly.
to sit.
to scream silently.
to allow my fingers to dance.
to wash the ink off my hand.
to want it to be done.
to wait for sentences that benifit.
to make honesty alone penetrate.
to sing encouragement.
to close my ears to the lies.
to formulate understanding.
to communicate truth.
to be real.
to continue.
to change.
to stop.
to be different yet agian.

tonight= hollidazzle parade *minneapolis

Leonard Ravenhill once said of Tozer, "I fear that we shall never see another Tozer. Men like him are not college bred but Spirit taught."

seattle

everything i have found about seattle intruiges me. perhaps it is the idea of something new--perhaps. possibaly it is the rumor of rain--possibaly, because, well, i like rain. maybe it is because my older sister headed east, and as i am seemingly the next in line, i must look to and long for the west.
next year i hope to move away from wisconsin. wisconsin is lovely-- please come, please visit, please stay for a bit. yet, a time for packing boxes and going will arrive. no worries. not for close to another year... but i anticipate as i learn to wait and grow and be.
would you come visit the pacific with me? 2006ish... i will make you some soup, and we can have hot berries for dessert. ((you'll like what your beatiful plate offers))

sore shoulder bones

when the weather changes my body seems to protest. presently, sharp pains and aches have made themselve present. i blame my body. does this happen to you? yes... both parts, sharp pain a n d blaming it upon your own body?

thats all. i am bitting my nails and that is a horrible-- HORRIBLE- habit. i think it means i have a lot to achomplish and not so much time to actually get it done. that is the real reason i am bitting my nails now. STOP.

((oh i went to the cities this weekend and i miss my apartment and my friends and having reception on my cell phone.))

bread pudding

prematurely attempting to evolve into "my great aunt clovis." just popped it into the oven. 70 min. to comfort food for a rainy nov. day. what bliss.

my word

after over a year of deliberation, several months ago, i determined i would be an independent beauty consultant with the leading cosmetic company in this nation.

i held a debut, gave classes, and sold products. while in the process of a move over the state's line. after great amounts of time passed and internal lack of communication was dealt with, as well as, personal frustration, and account situations that were out of my hands-- i am now able to place the order that i told my dear customers "two weeks" when i originally took their order. wow.

during one particular evening of great frustration, my dad spoke with wisdom to me. "you can not give your word until it is in your courts agian to deliver the seal/ promise that you speak."

one's word is so important, it enables trust or it erodes it into nothingness.

check out the sight. i plan to place an order every two weeks. or if you'd like to be added to the mailing list, drop me a line. it is now back in my courts... www.marykay.com/jkersting

"mist"

i have watched the new reality show: rebel billionaire, a couple times thus far. the first broadcast called for a hot balloon "stunt" and sure concentration on the contestants behalf. two individuals were unable to complete the assigned task and were to participate in yet another act... they were called to climb to the top of a hot air balloon and have tea with Branson-- agh, i am fairly sure that is his name. one of the contestants proclaimed that they were able have "tea in a cloud." since the program aired a couple weeks ago, i have envied that remark. oh how i want to climb high, and be in the clouds, and yes-- simply be, of course while consuming some tea.

later that evening, i told my dad that i could have made it. i would have made it. and sounding quite bitter i wanted to know why they didn't ask me. he smiled. well... jas... i walked away while pondering my wished-for-location.

i w o u l d d o a n y t h i n g to be in a cloud.

late this afternoon as i returned to my parents home from work, thickness caused my moving mind to cease. i was in a cloud. in a cloud. that's it. i did not care about the weatherman's announcement of mist or fog. dang. it was a cloud. i was enveloped in white. the cloud was brought to me, and my stubborn eyes finally could see. ((though i didn't have any tea in the car during my travels, i drank some earlier in the day-- yeah so, with tea in my system i had a run-in with a cloud, and it wasn't awkward- it was good.))

Musings from Crown Alumni

Musings from Crown Alumni
shall we give it a go?
jolene told me about this site ages ago... well, surely days and months ago. anyways now i when i was not looking for the site at all, i stumbled upon it.
fun, good times.-- lynnea, josh-- i believe i am to credit you. NICE.
i miss your faces! all of you!
continue on.
((i moved back home. and i am writing. pray for jesus words.))

babies and engagements-- congratulations.

"farewell," and i wear a grin another hour-- the crown community: is it possible to get away?

-jas

perhaps we can still have a "fresh start" in this nation

i wonder what john kerry is doing right now. could he be eating a sandwich while pondering how he could have tallied up more votes in ohio? i pass on my best wishes for his future political 'hurrahs,' as i now congratulate george bush with the privledge to wake up in the white house once agian...

and america stands upon its haunches-- trying its best to prepare for what only God knows, awaits this county_____.