.

i love you little
i love you mighty
i wish your pajamas
were next to my nightie
now don't get excited
now don't get mislead
i mean on the clothsline
and not in the bed

(was written in 1938 in eleanor's autograph book. she was thirteen at the time.)

the nursing home. a person can learn quite a bit.

so im going to miss those people. as of today...you've got. denver. paula. mary. eleanor. babe. caroline. rose. another mary. bill. russell. herman. joe. merill. laura. jeanette. murial. yet another mary. ruth. dolly. hazel. elaine. viola. bernie. melvin. ray. betty. hilda. steph. lyda. favorite. doris. sandy. linda. one more ruth. mae. karen.

blue table clothes at work today. residents were a bit more crazy. most of my coworkers blame it on the full moon--. i think i blame it on them not being able to see the moon. anyways im done with that adventure. but i love them and yes i already kind of miss them. its different when you causually visit-- you see there are so many who struggle with memory loss and "old-timers" (according to joe) that it is just tricky.

my parents bought me some fun little goodies and left them on the stairs leading to my space. i cryed. (i think mostly out of exhaustion from the day.) it was so-- i want to say thoughtful-- but that word is tossed around lightly and doesn't really express what i desire it to... anyways. i am drinking one of wine coolers they picked up-- DELICIOUS.

i am fine. i am still dreaming and i have so many things that i want to do. i never want to stop dreaming. currently my eyes have attempted to peer at things a somewhat realistically-- i have yet to decide if it is possible.

last week a handful of people celebrated ms. dicosmo by attending a twins game. we paid general admissions to get in- $6. but after the 4th inning our row got up. one that we were with, knew someone, who knew someone... the next thing i knew we were sitting in one of the sky boxes cheering loudly as the twins came out on tippy top. surreal.

on friday i met an ant. i was laying in the grass-- by a lake-- it was chilly so actually i was wrapped up fairly tightly in a blanket-- and there he was-- or she. i don't know. is the ant civilization a maternial pologamous group? im not sure. bee colonies have the queen. do ants as well? it almost seems like they do-- but all the ants died before the plastic-ant-farm-sets were opened so i really didn't learn too much about this particular creature. ANYWAYS. i was lying there and i reached over and messed up the little mound purposefully... i can envision screaming ants from down below and a choosen brave one trudging upwards to face the mystery beast who was currently causing mad choas thoughout the coves and traces of the underworld. i smiled after several minutes of the brave ant lifting heavy grains out of the path, he/she than circled the mound numerous times looking for the intruder. i did it agian once he/she went back down, but he/she never came back up. maybe i crushed the brave one? i didn't mean to... maybe he/she still alive? probably. once i had a pet ant. it was big-ish and very black. i named it but i can't remember the name. i killed him. i didn't know what ants ate so i drowned it in sugar water. i was only trying to feed it. i might have been 11-- im not sure. enough ant stories for one day. i had a pet fly too. i kept him in a jar. i killed him too. but how about you pretend i didn't really announce that youthful tale because it is pretty gross. but it is true. which makes it funny. which gives me somewhat of a reason not to delete this entry... or maybe next time it'll be gone. and you will be fighting with various illusions for a long time. we'll see.

ok. i am leaving.