(identity, etc.)
recently some stuff has happen.
recently i've maybe began to learn some things, due to this stuff that has happened.
*no more DL: lost/ stolen
*no more card: lost/ stolen
*broken phone
so. i'll plan on getting it all taken care of next week. it is not a big deal BUT it did make me think about:
identity, and money, and people...
and i don't think that was a coincidence.
oh. and i think i am sometimes a bit of a narcissistic beast. that's gross.
new days, new hours, new moments, new mercies come.
hello summer solsticeShare
Saturday, June 21, 2008 at 1:27am | Edit Note | Delete
after the cook grabbed my hand to model his way
after driving on fumes
after hearing that they stopped searching for the body
after listening to her heart question
after another's death was declared
after a housemate talk on the magic bed
after no conclusions were actually determined
after dreams so real while sleeping
after a sporadic water flow in the shower and lemongrass shampoo
after a big tea shipment for another was dropped off
after the arrival of a traveler
after true communication occurred
after participants came
after fashion shows continued
after bags were resealed
after making potatoes, french doughnuts & spinach salads with the deadicated
after more stopped by
after i tried on the pants
after children's chapter books were discussed
after nancy drew was rented
after saturday's plans were finalized
after touching foreheads with my lips X!
after leaving the house
i drove away from the day and...
i thought about small talk and death and community and love and the fit of pants and extreme poverty i haven't expeirenced.
i thought about the movie and the dancing and the idea of a man...
i thought about what i was missing.
i thought about being content.
i thought about giving in to the wind of the spirit, whatever the hell that ACTUALLY means.
i thought about man's confindence verses man's confidence in god, and i felt very tiny.
i thought about the oppurtunities with these crazy, lovely kids- really.
i thought about this day... and i kissed spring farewell.
now i have a wicked headache, and i am laughing.
welcome to summer.
rough soles, painted toes, popsicles. game?
Add a comment | 2 commentsi have been hearing about this man for several years.Share
Friday, June 20, 2008 at 6:15am | Edit Note | Delete
consider a minute to stop. and pray. still, and again. god is good, and big, and mighty. *i was thinking the acheing was due to the pain bethany felt (a close, close friend from WI), and it is. but once again, we, christian people are family. suddenly, i hurt for him and his connections i have never met. this family business we are in may include hurting together... perhaps? xxx.-j
Please read this note about my dear & close friend Jeremy. I met him when I was in Australia and he was one of my best friends at the base. It aches my heart to think of the worst in this situation. He's one of the coolest guys I know, with a gigantic heart, and the best sense of humor around. If you could take a moment to pray for his family & friends, I would more than greatly appreciate it. Much love to all of you.. Bethany.
Dear friends & family,
As you may or may not be aware on Monday 16th June 2008 we as YWAM Australia experienced a terrible tragedy. Two of our YWAM Newcastle staff were sightseeing along the coastline on their day off. As they walked along the rocks at about one o’clock in the afternoon a freak wave washed them off the rocks and into the heavy seas that had been pounding the coast for several days.
Witnesses to the incident managed to throw a floatation device to Jesse Lee who managed to stay afloat for about an hour in the rough seas until he was winched to safety by a rescue helicopter as the water was too dangerous to enter by any other means.
The other young staff member Jeremy Earnshaw was not seen after being washed into the water and has not been sighted since. It’s now been almost 3 days since the incident occurred and despite extensive search and rescue efforts by several different local authorities, Jeremy still remains missing. We are still believing for a miracle. Please continue to join us in praying that he would be found.
We have been in constant contact with Jeremy’s family since they were notified soon after the incident on Monday. They are a wonderful faith filled family who love God and have been incredibly gracious throughout all our conversations.
Jesse Lee, after being rescued, was admitted to hospital and treated for hypothermia before being released later in the evening. Jesse is doing well with no lasting injuries and is grateful to be in the loving embrace of his YWAM family here.
The search for Jeremy continues with police boats, jet ski’s and divers being deployed as soon as the ocean conditions improve enough for it to be safe for them to enter the water.
We here in Newcastle have been so blessed to know God’s amazing love for us as he ministers to us both spiritually and physically during this time. Thank you so much for your warm embrace and support. Your prayers have been and are greatly appreciated.
Dave Stephenson, Base Director of YWAM newcastle.
Add a commentlisteningShare
Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 3:20pm | Edit Note | Delete
to the evidence of the wind
seeing the lush green dance haphazardly
to the lawnmower
smelling the pain of the grass
to that one bird calling to that one other bird
deeming a reply will approriatly be offered
to the typing upon the keyboard
feeling the hard plastic change levels
to the vehicle's engine and his tires meeting the pavement
hoping the travelers arrive at the proposed destination
to the phone's noisey vibration against the blue painted wood
waiting to respond to the caller
to the jet's bellow streaking across the sky
wishing of another location
to the infant's cry next door
remembering the warmth of an embrace
to the door slamming, below and over somewhere
offering a welcoming greeting at some point
to my breathing
knowing it is consistent these hours
to the voice i didn't conjure up
sensing that nowadays are being cared for too
Add a comment | 1 comment4 MINUTES: it's about a building-- addressed to all body parts...Share
Friday, June 6, 2008 at 1:34am | Edit Note | Delete
Hello to the toes and elbows, greetings to the fingernails and shins…
I conversed with a one of those ‘10+ years friends’ this evening. Our relationship has solidified into one that begs the depths of vulnerability and accountability when our voices join together. Nearly 1/2 of the interaction had us discussing various philosophies while noting Christian apologetics… the mysteries of the Godhead, the steady characteristics by which we are rooted to, the organism known as the Church—(also known as the toes, elbows, fingernails, shins, and etc.), the daily news, the weather, the petty situations… the massive situations. We talked about keeping the big deal, the BIG DEAL. We talked about big deals that were big deals, but weren’t the BIG DEAL. We hoped together that God would continue to focus our wandering selves, so we might know.
On that note, I will write.
Scum of the Earth is a church building. Merely a building. Well… It is a group of persons that has been in transitional buildings since it’s founding in 2000. I began attending in December 2005 when I moved to Denver.
Scum of the Earth, the people, has found a building. Yes, merely a building. Yet, this one would not be a transitional hub for maybe a year or two. This, mere building would be a fixed home…
You are right. It is still a building.
Not forever. Made of brick and mortar like some of the others.
You are right. It is still a building.
The Church is not meant to be locked within the walls of four.
You are right. It is still a building.
People, you are right…
Even so, I can not bottle the thrill that has overwhelmed.
A list was made by leadership eight years ago. The details of this building match it.
Financially the cost has been lowered significantly, and now the offer of $625K was accepted.
There are more convincing facts… I could exhaust you. But, perhaps that would be a form of manipulation…
Let’s just say. It is good. It is appropriate.
I am a skeptic, and I am now found with peace alone.
**I too, am for the Church being more than a mere building. But I wonder, if the mere buildings too can offer their brick and mortar to be instrumental to the Church and the Church’s Lord? This is the theological discussion; I will throw myself into silently for now.
Church (toes, elbows, fingernails, shins, etc.),
Please consider prayer.
Please consider financial donations.
Please consider further inquiry.
www.scumoftheearth.net (there is a fabulous letter detailing more so the building, and various opportunities you may be interested in, as well as pictures on this site.)
Checks: Scum of the Earth P.O. Box 101808 Denver, CO 80205
Made to Scum of the Earth, memo line ‘building’
Pastor Mike Sares
Tim Dunbar, Administrative Pastor
Tim’s contact: 720-810-0575 scumtim@mac.com
Oh… yeah… This happened quick. The cash is needed by June 27th.
Blessings to you ALL regardless.
Thanks for your time.
Yes, and how’s ya?
Love from a kneecap,
-j
And when do you want to visit the mountains?
Add a comment | 2 commentstitlesShare
Wednesday, June 4, 2008 at 4:35am | Edit Note | Delete
facebook calls us friends
i don't call you
or maybe i do
or maybe i did
on the telephone
or maybe the seas seperate us
or the states
or the streets
but we know our paths crossed once
your photo is in that one yearbook... or...
photoshopped into my mind forever
our laughter mingled and was comfortably intertwined
while the now muted sceene was still brilliant and fresh
we talked about current days
now we reminisise on the glorious was
many brothers
many sisters
our idenity seems to state
stranger friends, we are family
when time is stripped
when urgency holds a differant definiation
we will sit
we will reminance
we will talk about now
and we will laugh again
and i will attempt to recall that inital photoshopped imagery i have tucked away in my mind of one of the first times we were together.
be loved. be blessed. and be relentless in this seeking truth bit. yes, at all costs. i dare you dear family, as you... have dared me.Add a comment | 4 commentsmagical intervalsShare
Thursday, May 29, 2008 at 1:28am | Edit Note | Delete
close your eyes for ten minutes
then you can read for a bit
or watch M.A.S.H. with us
close your eyes and allow your body to slow
i fought it
wiggling.
giggling.
with my lids plastered shut
close your eyes?
while the theme music caused my limbs to tap?
while the climax of the chapter book's story i was inticed with?
close your eyes and wonder about tomorrow
close your eyes and laugh about the moments spent
close your eyes, close them tight and feel the blanket wrapped about
no more shadow drawings on the ceiling
no more questions of the hours past
close your eyes and know the beckoning forth of the dream chambers.
plunging the depths of longings.
a place for the brave alone.
thrill and adventure.
peace and quiet.
great war and great love.
beyond imagination... most always.
so close your eyes.
be quiet.
if you are still awake, you may read... you may hear more then the theme music... you may get involved with an awake story again.
ten minutes. i will look at the clock.
*i was in elementary school. mom's way. dad's way. passed it on to a 16 year old tonight. she laughed. i laughed. magical intervals. sheesh. oh, but she is sleeping and has been for a bit. i was able to catch some M.A.S.H. episodes and eat mint bon bon ice cream with my parents every once in a while...
Add a comment | 1 commentscreaming birdsShare
Wednesday, May 28, 2008 at 5:47am | Edit Note | Delete
it is morning time. i was having a rather serene time as i wrapped up my work duties and sat here with tea and a magazine to conclude my hours at the center. it was serene until i heard the perched beasts... anything but timid, i began to see the colorful sky traces in a different way all together.
unashamed.
not afraid.
loud.
grating.
harmonious.
screaching.
damn musical winged creatures.
beckoning the slumbering still to wake.
to dance.
to move.
to sing.
to holler.
to get out of bed and take a shower maybe.
to do ANYTHING but ignore their existence.
at dawn's break, the birds scream.
it is beautful, and annoying, and sort of stalkerish how relentless they are, wouldn't you say?
tomorrow morning:
i may throw things at them.
or
i may join them.
morning all.
Add a commentmisplaced birth certificateShare
Saturday, April 26, 2008 at 1:55am | Edit Note | Delete
i drink profanity soup in my sleep. i read humanities' potential and i cringe. i bark commands while i stand ashamed. i sit behind a veil of illusioned ignorance. i am a transformed transformer and most of the time i hate it, but i wear a smile and offer the 'placebo' to those pained. i am ripped open. i listen for more rumors of the character that breaks knees. i hear insanity beackon. fuck. i yearn for my flesh to hit the gravel. i yearn for riddance of my personal prescribed pleasures. i laugh... i wonder why exsitance declares the realities of these todays now. i see the flesh coated dancing digits, i feel the lax posture- hope is an uninvited steamroller that plauges the imagination with possibities. i yawn. i get up. Add a comment | 2 commentslearningShare
Friday, April 11, 2008 at 2:10am | Edit Note | Delete
my cough is dispersing. i woke up half the girls at the treatment center house last night. "jas, you're sick. why are you here?" i gently argued that i was getting better, while interrupting my own statements with hacking.
i am getting better.
better; healthwise
or
better at convincing myself of something that is not actual.
sometimes, i guess, i think i'm god.
or something.
i suppose this is my current reasoning for
...not admitting that i too, can get sick
...justifying my body's lack of sleeping hours
...thinking that "i" was capable of saving her
shift change:
assult. arrest. jail.
hours later, coughing totally subsided: i find myself thinking about today.
*i received a note from Dad, who just returned to Oshkosh from D.C.
*coughing.
*i spoke on the phone with Mom as she told of visiting the beloved ocean off the coast of Maine, and the crazy upcoming journey to wal-mart in which she would be assisting grammie and grandpa. i told of the snow falling on my face as i walked to meet up with caroline.
*caroline and i laughed about the wide array of chocolates the fancy isle in k-mart had to offer, and how we didn't need it- but how the cravings yearned for approval.
*some coughing, some hacking.
*the pillow. and the blankets. the dreams. the hot water in the shower. the dry towel.
*the amazing food in the cupboards.
*the tales that awaited thoughout the house. traci's encounter of further direction. lauren's massive heart for people. meghan's daily adventures and then some.
*sarah and i cuddled up to chat about nowadays and watch a girly movie. i burnt the popcorn, we settled on tea.
*hack. hack. cough. cough. sputter. hack.
*anna revealed her lovely self and i blew kisses and ran out to head to work. (i don't think i did blow kisses, but now that i am writing this ditty, i wish i did.)
*i received shift change and the raw story of a coworker and friend.
this messy, hard, wrecked, ruined, beautiful, good gift of life...
hmm. so, in conclusion, i am not god. i get sick. i need sleep. i don't save people.
good lesson.
out.
-j
